I don't usually use this blog as a source to talk about my feelings but this seemed like too big of a reminder about the important things in life, which probably all of us could use. It sure brought me back to reality.
Well, as I approached this weekend I was, for the first time, starting to feel like I was ready for a break. As fun as this age is with Tessa it is much more time consuming and is difficult in new ways. She is teething, trying to sit and crawl, not sleeping well, and has some major mommy attachment going on. She would be perfectly content to just sit with me and chew on my fingers all day :) Prior to this weekend at work I thought that was a difficult thing.
So, Saturday I cared for an infant who is only 3 days older than Tessa and is on a ventilator and is fed through a tube. This was reminder #1 of how great my life is with a healthy, vibrant, and growing baby. I went home exhausted and praying the next day would be better because I thought I couldn't handle another day like that.
The next day I had a very busy assignment with a baby who was very sick and needing lots of tests to find the source of the infection. I then had a brand new 28 week baby who I admitted to the unit who was put on a special ventilator and had to have CPR at birth to bring her around. She stabilized as the day went on, only to need to have CPR again right at the change of shift. While we did chest compressions her mother just sat there and cried and cried. So, even though my back was killing me, my brain was exhausted, and I didn't get to see Tessa all day. I hugged this mother and all I thought was "wow my life is good, and I am so thankful that god has blessed me with everything I have because no matter how bad my day seemed before now it doesn't begin to compare to what this mother is experiencing."
I spent my day off today not worrying about packing boxes or doing dishes, but letting Tessa sit on my lap and chew my fingers.....life is good!
2 years ago
3 comments:
and i want to say thank you to you because without you, my son may not be here today. I'm sure that mom knew that her baby was in great hands. you are an awesome nurse and a great mom! you took such great care of both p and of me. Hang in there mama!
So I am crying now after reading this. Our job really makes you think sometimes. It is so hard to see parents go through that and it's hard sometimes to find the right things to say when you know that your life is so different. I am so thankful as well to have a wonderful healthy baby and I know what you mean when you say there are days that are harder than others, but how thankful we are compared to some of our parents in the NICU. I'm glad you had a wonderful day spoiling Tessa because sometimes that is all it is really about. Hang in there girl, I know you are going to have those rough days but you are so good at what you do.
That is so great Bri. Our job really gives us a reality check sometimes. You will never know the impact you had on that mom that day.
Being a mom is hard! So even though Tessa is a beautiful healthy baby, it's okay to complain from time to time and admit it's tough. It doesn't make you any less grateful for your baby.
You are a great nurse & mommy Bri!
Post a Comment